previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'll be taking to Orcus's court directly.
Is Flint even in there?
Honestly, I'm not sure.
If we survive this, I don't want to see you again.
Okay.
One last question for Grancis.
Can you make like some kind of dimensional hole for me to put this thing in?
And I hold up the Wand of Orcus.
I can make it invisible and then they can't find it by magic,
but I don't know how Orcus finds things.
Well, I can do this thing where I can like summon an elemental and it has a box
and then we can put a thing in the box and it can send it to a person or creature in another plane.
I do not have Elia's hair, but Opal sheds like literally everywhere.
Push it towards Vorunax.
I put the wand in.
And I snap it closed.
It snaps and it's gone.
And it sounds like when you send an email.
Cut to a grand chamber entrance.
There's this huge goat head figure on the face of this door.
And as you approach it, all of you, Vorunax leading, Lipsinkie behind,
and the rest of you in ropes loose enough for you to get out of.
The doors swing open and there's this, this inhalation into the room.
Like air is just being let back in.
There's this huge burning fire in the center of this chamber
and darkly lit on the other side is this massive shadowy figure
who's inset on this huge skeletal throne.
And this resonant echoing voice echoes out through the space.
Vorunax.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
He, him? Also with me today is Amy More.
Yeah, she, her.
And I'm playing Thea Amastasia, she, her.
And also Guile Nighthunter Oglokanu, she, they.
And Carla Maxted.
She, her. Loving Amy's energy.
Hating Russ's tone.
And playing Lipsinkie, also she, her.
Tom Laird.
That's me, he, him.
I am playing Flint, he, him.
And yeah, really digging the energies we got going on here early.
And Kyle Claset.
Excited to be here, he, him, and I can't wait to play Vorunax
and take down the vile villain that is Orcus.
Wink?
If you turncoat on us, I will find you.
We're coming to Texas.
You gotta throw a wink in there.
And also could I stay with you?
After I murder you, can I stay in your house?
Yeah, I think that's how the law works.
Maybe I could couch surf and maybe you could take me to see some things and then we'll settle this.
And an ass whooping.
Then yeah, it's proper.
Where you'll get the recorded play-by-play of Amy maybe going to Kyle's house and couch surfing,
going to some barbecue places, seeing the sights, and then kicking his ass in audio form.
Which is a lot of like, huh, huh, oh, oh, get off my face, kind of thing.
It's going to be over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cats.
Sure it is.
Ross is always looking for bonus content, so.
Always.
If we can make it happen, we'll try it.
You also get an episode dedicated to you when you're a patron of ours.
Like today's patron, Tavi Tragas.
Thanks Tavi.
I love the alliteration.
I know it's so good.
I'm so sorry about what's about to happen.
Almost certainly, but maybe not.
Maybe not.
I mean, we don't really know.
We really have no idea.
Maybe Tavi will be like our good luck.
Guys, the rest is still unwritten.
Oh.
Are you Natasha Bedingfielding us right now?
Oh, you really are.
You know it.
Yeah.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And now fuck it.
Let's play.
I'm like on the edge of my seat.
And then, oh, okay.
Yeah, we're good.
The suspense.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
I really wanted to bring in a bubbly energy to completely just juxtapose a Russ's guy
going on.
I loved it.
No.
Yeah.
Nobody requested.
No, thank you.
No.
I don't need to come into it with negativity.
We're going to try our best.
We're pushing that out.
Say no.
That's right.
No.
Not today, sir.
Not today, Satan.
Not today.
There's a cackling.
Cackling?
Crickling Creek.
Oh, God.
There's a creek.
Another creek?
There's a creaking cack.
Creaking a cack.
You hear the sound of echoing footsteps as our heroes walk towards two massive, large
thrown doors with the image of a skull's head carved into the bone that it is created
out of.
Question.
Is it massive or is it large?
The sconces on the walls are flickering with a deep, dark purple that illuminate the area
with this sickening glow.
As you approach the door, Vorunax, you do something to prepare yourself before you enter into
Orcus's throne room.
As I go ahead and begin conjuring an elemental just to make sure, show that we have a good
force taking care of these vile do-gooders.
And I am going to summon forth an earth elemental.
At the back of the group, the ground begins to heave.
This elemental comes forth following behind you.
It looks to Vorunax for direction.
I just, I tell it, stay behind us.
Watch these prisoners.
Wink.
There's this groaning, echoing, earthquake-like rumble that comes from its chest.
And the doors, as you turn back to them, begin to swing open.
The chamber before you is large.
Almost, you lose the edge of it as you begin to walk in, as it begins to get too dark to see.
There's an almost magical darkness surrounding the edge.
But on the periphery of your vision, you see glimpses and flits of what you would
believe to be demonic creatures hiding in the shadows.
At the center is this roiling, fire-filled pit.
This purple and black flame licking up and out over the edge of this pond-like lip.
On the other side, hidden in shadow, is this massive throne.
And at first you don't see anybody sitting on it.
But after a moment of you stepping in and around the flame, you see movement of an arm as this voice echoes out.
Welcome home, Vorunax.
My Prince of Undeath, Lord of Spectres.
It's a shame they call you the Shadow that was, considering you're still here.
Rightfully so.
I bring you a gift.
What has taken you so long to return?
There were complications with that necromancer you lent power to.
And I learned of a complication that we should take care of early.
You know of the Decimators of Dragons, correct?
Yes.
Well, I bring you two of them.
But not the two you would expect.
See, the problem that they hold is not that they are heroes of this time.
They're heroes of a future where your plan came to fruition.
And they came back to try and stop you sooner.
I brought them to you so that I may display my loyalty in ending their lives before you, at your throne.
And not only do I bring this gift, I bring a potential protege.
Miss Lipsinki. I hold my hand out for her, Lipsinki.
And I give it up. Hello?
This is Lipsinki Pip Diggins.
I believe the potential you were looking for and, well, you could easily replace Shamgalar with Lipsinki.
Talented, through and through, seems to come to it naturally, as if she's already walked in our ways.
I thought I sensed something odd in the plane.
Do you have any reason to believe that we could expect more people to come from the future?
Is there anything you know of that could keep that from happening?
Any quest that I could go on to serve you and eliminate that possibility?
It seems you've brought me something that I did not foresee.
Your tardiness.
Could be forgiven once these future travelers are defeated.
But tell me, decimators, is it as good as I believe it will be?
Is it as good as I believe it will be?
He looks square at you, Thea.
Answer him.
Yep, probably, yeah. Yep.
Good.
Maybe better.
I would be remiss to not let your brother share in this victory that we've had, Vorunax.
You hear a cackling laugh from somewhere in the upper chamber.
Oh, daddy!
Vorunax brought you some toys, didn't he?
Hi, Vorunax!
Shangalar floats down and in the midst of all of you.
Well, I've been busy setting up.
Oh, where was I busy setting up?
It was Grey Pond.
Sludge Pool.
I don't know.
I was busy doing your job because you didn't come back and say, look, look what I did.
Some of us can see further down the road and understand what would benefit the Master of Empires.
Yes, yes, of course.
I mean, I set up the portal.
Sure, it got destroyed.
But I set it up and got things moving, which sent the power rippling through.
I put my pyramid in place, you know, the one that daddy gave me.
They were oddly prepared, though.
That was strange.
Oh, they're busy walking around inside of the...
Let's take a look and see where they are.
He looks into this orb in his hand.
They took a wrong turn.
It'll take them a while to dig themselves out of that.
So, kill them.
I do not take orders from you.
He slinks and looks up at Orcus.
If you're ready for it, my lord.
As you look at Orcus and he leans forward and his massive head comes into view,
you see his hideous, scarred and mottled body,
his two huge leathery wings spread out.
It's 20 to 30 feet in the sky for you.
His huge, clawed, hairy hands over the edge of the throne
and this massive goat skull over his face.
You see his mouth begin to move.
If that was the plan,
take them over the flame and turn them into one we can use.
I go over and I grab Flint by the collar
and just drag bringing them forward
and I put my blade up to his throat
and I say,
this is where you draw your final breath.
Throw your prayers to your god.
How bound are my hands?
Like, what's going on?
Oh, we tied it to where you could easily just like...
Perfect. Okay.
And what do I want to throw it at?
Orcus himself or like a secondary target?
I didn't expect ol' Shangy to be here.
Nope, nobody expected that.
I know. Fuck that guy. Jesus.
Because we're only fighting the biggest big vats,
so we should probably get some other little turd that we already dealt with.
Maybe if you throw your hammer at him,
he will be like, ah, and disappear.
It'd be cool if you had some spell where you were like,
oh, I've already beat you? Good day.
Yeah, yeah.
If you travel in time and then you run into someone you've already defeated in the future,
it's just like you fight them and go pew, and then they just die.
They're like, alright.
New spell.
Wizards of the Coast, that's for you.
Hit us up.
Positioning, so you're dragging Flint.
He's by the fire.
You're facing away from Orcus?
No, I imagine it more so like I've got him held out in front of me
and my blade pulled around to his throat.
Okay, so both of you are facing.
Yeah.
Okay.
As you say that throw,
Orcus leans forward.
Both of you see
around his waist that was hidden like in the rolls of flesh
as he stands up and leans forward,
there are these glowing skulls in what look like a
ornate jeweled
belt.
You can count seven of them.
All very similar in structure, but different colors.
Okay.
I'm trying to decide if Flint knew that from Vorunax
or if he like remembered some lore about it
to like maybe take a closer look with his hammer to these skulls.
We flash back to the office.
There's a diagram.
Yeah, we can absolutely flash back because that wouldn't have been information that I gave to Kyle,
but Vorunax would likely have had because he was part of it.
We cut back to the office.
So you'll see that he's got this belt with these wicked looking skulls
and what those are are well, it's a
God essence.
In a sense.
No, are they like all the same size?
They're pretty uniform, but they're different colors.
I'm not sure which color pertains to which deity,
you know, but if you happen to take a look
and you know something more about religion than I do,
then that could benefit us because it could potentially chip away at whatever boon
may be provided by that essence.
Could I ask a quick question?
It's not really relevant, but I'm just curious.
So is he wearing a belt and didn't we decide he doesn't wear pants?
So it's just the belt.
Maybe more like a girdle.
Yeah, you know, it's so funny because of course I've seen him,
I've seen him, but I just I didn't I really tried to keep my eyes like kind of up there.
Gotcha.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I'd never even really noticed that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to distract from the planet sash.
I just know it's it's understandable.
He really it really has a look, doesn't he?
Yeah, that's striking.
One more question about these belts.
If you were to destroy one of the skulls on the belt, that is,
does that energy head back to the gods he took it from?
What happens to that energy?
That I don't know.
But we can either attempt to destroy them in hopes that they return from once they came
or we attempt to claim them for ourselves and try to harness them.
Huh?
Well, that seems like the evil.
No, no, like for the power of good.
For the power of good.
Yeah.
Like we get them on our side for good so we can kill for good.
Yeah, we could get all the skulls and you could give them to me.
And then I will be I will release the gods and let them return.
Yeah, we're drifting.
I think probably our best bet would be to break the skulls
and hopefully the gods will regain power, weakening Orcus.
We cut back to the throne room where Vorunax has his blade placed to Flint's neck.
Orcus is looking down and this menacing rumbling cackle echoes out towards you.
Do it.
And as I feel Vorunax start to like bring the knife even closer,
I let go of all my weight off my feet and just drop.
And as I drop, I grab my dwarven thrower and throw it as best I can towards that glowing skull on that belt.
Alright, this will trigger initiative.
Yes.
Give me your attack roll, sir.
You're hitting the skulls, not necessarily trying to hit Orcus or one of the skulls at least.
I am going for the skulls.
Colors to say them out loud.
There is a blue, a red, a green, a yellow, a brown, a pink, a black.
Other than the color, all of the skulls appear very similar in construction.
No real, there's no name tag on them is basically what I'm saying.
Alright, yeah, I'm going to try to hit the pink skull.
Okay, roll to hit please.
That's a 30.
Damn.
Almost in an instant, Flint drops with this ranger like dexterity.
And the dwarven thrower loses from his hand and you see it,
there's a trail of light emanating from it as it strikes hard into one of these skulls.
Roll damage please.
That is 7 plus 8, so 15 damage.
You hear this crack and from Vorunax and Flint's vantage point,
you see the light.
It doesn't extinguish, it doesn't leave, but it does feel like it is brighter,
like it's emanating more clearly from it,
which would lead you to believe that you've at least cracked it in some way,
but it doesn't seem to have released whatever energy is inside.
The thrower attempts to come back to you.
Would you make, I guess, a dex check for your hammer?
Maybe roll a dexterity saving throw with Flint's stats or Bort's stats?
Okay, well I mean we're gonna go with Flint's stats,
because since it's Flint's body.
There's a couple perks and other things that I've transferred over,
but otherwise I've left it there.
That is a 15.
The hammer hits and you hear this grunt,
because it does hit into his belly,
and the hammer begins to return,
but in the time that you would expect it to be in your hand,
you look and it's not there, and you look in Orcus's hand,
and he has your hammer in his.
Interesting trick, Vorunax.
You really thought you could fool us.
Yeah, you were carrying around a microphone for like the whole time.
I was hoping I could at least pull the one over on someone who pulled one over on me.
Oh, did he just look around at everybody?
He did.
How did he trick you?
How did he trick you, Shangri-La?
Oh, this is gonna hurt.
How did you find yourself into his service?
I was trying to seek the most power in the world.
I was up against, well, him.
Him.
The old man there.
Grancis?
Yeah.
And he said I could beat him into a bloody pulp
over and over and over and over again.
And so I did.
He's actually down in,
which was a real mind twist until you were like time travelers from another place,
because he's down there.
I just got back.
Oh well.
So be it.
Even though we may fall on different sides of the aisle at this point,
you are still so short-sighted.
But you're very small, down by a big open pit,
and daddy's mad.
Roll for initiative.
Did Shangri-La say that?
God, can he stop calling him daddy?
It sounded like Shangri-La said it.
It sounded like, roll.
Roll for initiative.
Was that you?
Wow.
Okay.
See, I got 12.
Naturally.
Varnock's got 18.
Let's think he got nine.
Nighthunter, 21.
Grancis.
Oh, shoot.
That's a one.
Plus the initiative of two, so that's a three for Grancis.
He's got to read his book.
What's the guy who comes last during the relay?
The anchor?
Yeah, that's right.
Maybe that's like, yeah.
I mean, Shangri-La is just bumping up, you know,
pumping his tires a little bit.
Maybe he's about how he's so powerful.
And Orcus.
Initiative bonus of 27.
I'm going to get a 45 to initiative.
And 13 actions.
Don't forget my legendary actions and my lair actions.
I forgot about the lair.
Thanks, Kyle.
Orcus stands up from his throne.
The stale wind thumps down towards you from his wings,
beating together.
He puts out his hand and then pauses a moment,
looks down at Vorunax.
Where is it?
I actually don't know.
Hmm.
It will be here.
Nighthunter, you are up first.
You have Shangalar, whose...
Shangalar's position is...
He's like moving around the perimeter.
He's not standing still.
He's trying to stay at a distance, clearly.
Orcus is front and center.
I feel like you guys were led up to the throne,
so he's like right in front of you.
Okay.
Now, question about Nighthunter's sanity.
Yeah, you went really hard on that.
But is she still within her right mind
that she would participate in the fighting?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, good.
I just wanted to make sure that it's not that...
No, you turn on your friends kind of crazy.
Oh, it better not be.
Because Russ has pulled that bullshit before.
I'm not here for it.
Nobody's had their mind controlled at this point.
At this point.
Carla, I see you there.
Yeah.
Carla's like...
Nighthunter charges forward with Corpse Grinder
because this is all she knows.
What does she say?
She comes at, what, does she get up to, like, what, his shin?
So he's probably like 20, 25 feet tall.
She said 30 feet tall.
Yeah, but he's up on a throne, right?
Okay, I gotcha.
You have perhaps hurt my ilia.
And they charge forward and just like hack into his shin, I guess.
I mean, you could probably reach like upper thigh at that point.
Maybe, yeah.
You're also a giant.
Yeah, if I jump, I'm big.
Yeah, you're also big.
I want to go for thigh, anywhere that there's like, you know, major artery perhaps.
As you get closer, you see a dangling wand between his legs.
Because he's naked.
Naked boy.
If she can reach the dick, she'll go for the D.
Okay, the first one's 25.
That will hit.
Look at how thin it is.
Oh my god, it's happening.
I did it, guys.
I did it.
Okay, well, I mean, that's only 11 damage.
You don't hit his dick.
But you do hit into his leg, and corpse grinder cuts in,
and this black ichor is now coating the blade as you swing it through.
And as you swing back for another one,
you see the skin stitching itself where it was cut.
Oh, he healed.
That's not okay.
She wants to hack him again.
She's going to do it again.
This time for a 16.
A 16 does not hit.
But he's naked.
I know, it's wild, isn't it?
It's a fucking guy.
This guy.
This guy here.
At the end of his turn, he's going to swing his tail at you.
Has he been taking his turn while I've been taking my turn?
Legendary action.
Fine, swing that tail.
I warned you off the beginning.
I did.
That's a 28 to hit you.
No, it doesn't hit.
That's wild.
It doesn't.
It's wild.
You're going to take 21 force damage and nine poison damage.
Okay, so 30 damage.
And make a strength saving throw, please.
Fuck off.
Hold on.
Do I have some?
Hold on.
Wait.
No.
Okay.
Strength saving throw.
Yeah, that's a 15.
Okay.
You get hit by this tail and it connects hard with you.
It echoes throughout the room.
Everybody else feels it in their bones.
And you fly back 15 feet, almost at the feet of Vorunax and Bort at this point.
You're prone.
It's Orcus's lair's turn.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Guys, we did bad.
So right where the rest of you are standing.
So that will be Grancis and Lipsinki and Thea.
Yes.
That's all who would be in that group.
So on a 20 foot square.
Oh, and some sort of elemental earth.
Oh, and the earth elemental.
Yeah.
Yes.
Skeletal arms begin sprouting up from the ground, grabbing at you.
Everybody make a strength saving throw.
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off.
13.
21.
God damn it.
And Grancis?
No.
Oh, let me make one for the earth elemental real quick.
Oh, yes, please.
Or Grancis.
So frail.
17.
All of you are considered restrained until the arms disappear or until Orcus releases
them.
With a 21?
Yeah.
I had to beat a 23.
I almost, I rolled almost the best I could.
So I have no chance.
You did very good.
Oh, goodness.
Vorunax, it's your turn.
Okay.
I'm going to use my action to cast Mirror Image on myself.
Okay.
And then I'm going to use my bonus action to help Night Hunter not be prone.
Yep, absolutely.
Cool.
You can help them up on your turn.
They would be 10 feet in front of you.
Sweet.
And so Night Hunter's back.
You'll be back up on your feet for your next turn.
You won't have to use any movement in order to do so.
So you've cast Mirror Image.
So there are four versions of you at this point.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
Also, I didn't roll for it earlier, but I got a 14 for the earth elemental's
initiative.
Oh, thank you.
They will go right after Bort.
Who is next?
All right.
Orcus still has my hammer.
Yes.
Orcus has your hammer in the palm of his hand.
Didn't like set it down when he was dealing with whatever was going on
there with.
No, he's relishing in his worthy status.
Damn it.
Yeah.
Hate this guy, guys.
I will just draw the moist tongue long sword and head over his way.
All right.
Going into melee.
Got it.
Cool.
Love it.
Swing to hit.
First one is a crit off a 19.
All right.
Yeah, that's going to hit.
All right.
Second one is a 12 plus 14.
So that's 26.
Yes, sir.
Next one is a 10 plus 14.
That is 24.
And another crit off a 19.
Dang.
Okay.
Two crits, two hits.
Nice.
Give me some damage, sir.
I like that we're fighting the big bad like fighting.
Like with swords.
So far it's like old martial arts movie style where only one of you goes up at
a time.
Love it.
Yeah.
And everyone just kind of waits.
You have to be polite.
See how this plays out.
That's true.
Also, Russ, I'd like to like keep attacking the same area as best I can.
Like if it's, you know, a leg kind of same zone in the leg as best I can.
Okay.
So you've rushed up to him.
That uses up your 30 feet of movement.
You've taken your three swings.
Anything else you can or would like to do?
No, I'll hold there.
It is the Elemental's turn.
All right.
The Elemental is going to try and break free of the restrain.
Strength saving throw.
DC 23, please.
That's a 17.
Not going to be able to do it.
Just command it to, you know, protect the people around it.
Stony Jabroni.
Protect those people back there.
I was drinking, Kyle.
Have you been sitting on that the whole time, Kyle?
No, that is a pullover from Bombarded for Tony Jabroni's Kony Stand.
Thank you, Goodrich.
Okay.
Elemental in sentry mode, basically, at this point.
Yes.
At the end of the Elemental's turn, Orcus casts Creeping Death over...
Are you sure he does?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does.
Over Night Hunter and Vorunax.
Dope.
A cylinder of swirling black necrotic energy, 60 feet tall,
and a 10-foot radius rises from that point.
And until the end of Orcus's next turn,
creatures in that area have vulnerability to necrotic damage.
Perfect.
That's great.
Yeah, it's so good.
Yeah.
So good.
Neat.
It's Orcus's turn.
Yeah?
Yeah, it's his actual turn.
He is going to attack you, Bort.
Okay.
With his...
I have a wand of Orcus.
Fuck you.
Her.
With a necrotic bolt.
Okay.
That's going to be a 22 to hit you.
I mean, you didn't even need the other half of that word, Rusty.
Love it.
And you're going to take 29 necrotic damage.
Necrotic damage.
You're not inside that cylinder.
But he's also going to fire two...
One towards Vorunax and one towards Night Hunter.
First one towards Vorunax is a 26.
Okay, let's see if he hits one of my mirrors.
Oh, yeah.
Six or higher.
16, so one of my duplicates is gone.
It takes double the necrotic damage.
Does it make a big show of dying, too?
I liked.
Yes.
We all act...
And the necrotic bolt going towards Night Hunter is a 22 to hit.
Shit, no.
My armor class is 23, bitch.
Wow.
She's just middle finger.
Sit on this and rotate.
She's a little crass when she's crazy.
I'm just going to step towards the people who are bound by skeletons.
Taking an opportunity attack if you so desire, Bort.
Yeah, let's do it.
Just treating you as doesn't care.
It's hurtful.
Am I able to take another shot at that belt of his?
What are you shooting with?
If it requires me throwing another weapon?
Sure.
As he begins to move, you would still have a viewpoint?
I am going to throw a spear at him.
Spear goes up and you hear it connect and there's a shattering, almost glass, almost bone sound that comes from it.
You see right as he's stepping over top of you, it begins to swirl around the outside of this skull.
Like it's trying to escape.
You hear the sound of your spear clatter to the ground and you see him lift his hand and hoof your Dwarven thrower hard into the wall.
It sticks hard into it and you hear it burying into the decayed matter that makes up the wall that begins to flake off around the edge.
There's a scatter and sound of many feet and screams as whatever creatures are outside your view are running around the top tier.
As his turn finishes, the necrotic energy around Vorunax and Nighthunter dissipates.
Thea.
So I'm stuck, right?
Yeah, you got to make a strength saving throw.
No, they're not hurting me, they're just holding me.
They are holding you and Orcus is coming towards you.
Okay, cool.
Nice.
Cool.
Okay.
Oathbow.
Yeah.
Two actions.
Do I have my hands?
Bark skin.
Yeah.
Okay.
In order to get out of this thing, I need...
A strength saving throw of 23.
Guys, I'd have to roll a nat 20.
Okay.
All right.
I literally can't do it.
Can we cast concentration spells because we're just being...
We're just laying down being in a skeleton-y embrace.
I wouldn't even...
Yeah.
I wouldn't even say you're laying down.
No, they came up from the ground, right?
I'd say they're reaching up and grabbing onto you.
Yeah.
So you're not prone.
You just can't leave the position you are in.
You might be able to teleport away.
There are other options to moving.
There are.
And I think I'm going to use that one.
Lip sync, I'm really sorry.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
And she takes out her tome of thunder step.
She says,
Funda, Funda, Malu, Amat, Maku, Kuro.
And thunder booms out and she teleports back,
backward, not towards Orcus, 10 feet away.
And...
Backpedaling, if you will.
And each creature within 10 feet of my space
that I've left needs to make a constitution saving throw.
13.
15 for Grancis.
Okay, 8.
18 was the save.
Aw, poor Stoney.
Okay, so we all take 3D10 damage.
I'm so sorry.
So far you've done more damage to your friends than Orcus has.
Stoney is vulnerable to thunder, I just learned.
Oh no!
Oh, Stoney!
Stoney!
Protect them, Stoney!
But what if they attack me?
Okay, what about them?
It still stands.
Welcome to the middle!
Hey!
Here we are.
We're in the middle.
We just scream and then we tell you that we have friends hanging out with us
because that's what we love to do too, is make new friends
and then send you over to their show because they have great things going on.
Hey, knock, knock, knock.
I brought in this plate of gin and tonics.
Wait, you're recording right now?
Oh, hey, Tim.
Oh, didn't see you there.
Welcome to the party.
Come on in.
Thank you for bringing the gin and tonics.
A plate of gin and tonics.
Yeah, here it is.
That's his signature dish.
I'm not old enough to drink because I'm Malcolm in the middle.
Malcolm in the middle?
Okay.
I get it.
I'm young Frankie Muniz.
Well, if you like that sort of humor, and we know you do.
You obviously do.
It's Tim, Jennifer and Mike Bachman from Greetings of Ventures,
former Drunks and Dragons podcast.
Wow.
So good to be here.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you so much for having us.
I mean, we've been on your show so much that we thought
maybe we'd just give you a 30 second spot.
So and go.
Thank you so much.
It's a great, great.
Okay.
So we like play D&D, which is like a system invented in the 70s.
I think the most important thing is that we've recently started a new campaign
that you can jump into.
Yeah.
Starting a campaign to as opposed to the inception of D&D is a better idea.
Yeah.
Just like Dumptons and Dragons, we also have quite a large backlog.
So if that is what you're looking for, if you've gotten through the backlog.
Right.
Guess what?
We got another one for you, baby.
Are you flying back and forth for some sort of airline miles scam?
Well, then listen to all 475 episodes of our first campaign or our second campaign,
which has been going for just about a year.
You don't need to know anything for the second campaign.
There's a few references here and there.
Do you need a show that feels like a slog together?
Our listeners love that.
This is the exact right audience.
Cut out for you.
Many, many episodes long.
But that's a positive, though, because when I see a new podcast that I'm into and I'm
like, oh, it's got 500 episodes and they're like two hours long.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's what I'm looking for.
I used to be a salesman at Circuit City.
So I know what I'm talking about.
You always start with the negative.
Always be closing.
It's very Glen Gary Glen Ross here is what you've got.
Yeah.
At the Circuit City.
Yeah.
It's like our show.
There's a lot.
Let me warn you.
Yeah.
If you like a group of silly characters who make bad decisions, but sometimes you're
going to feel an emotion.
Greetings adventures.
That's where you want to be.
Do you like file found family?
Yeah.
Do you like gay stuff?
Do you like gay kissing?
We got it.
We got it all.
I mean, if they don't like that stuff, I don't know why they're listening to
our show.
I don't know why they're listening to us.
Get on over there.
The Venn diagram of these two shows by these two descriptions is just a circle.
Exactly.
And that's why we're recording things together.
100 percent.
Thank you so much for being here.
We'll let people know where they can find you and remind them of the name.
I don't think we said it nearly enough for the proper SEO.
So true.
Yeah.
Greetings adventures podcast.
If you Google that, it will come up on Twitter.
We are at D&D podcast.
That's right.
And we're so thrilled that we have that handle.
And yeah, that's probably the two best place.
Instagram, we're greetings, adventures.
You know, that's probably the best places to go.
Right.
Greetings adventures.
And in your closet.
Turn around.
We're there now.
In full surround.
You can go listen to greetings adventures.
Thank you so much for joining us, everybody.
We hope to have you on a guest on Dumbgeons very soon.
We'll do that.
I only like the middle.
It's usually not this time, but I just screamed at you instead.
I got stage fright is what I did.
Thank you, everybody, for listening.
We'll get you back to the episode.
Go listen to greetings adventures after this one.
We'll talk to you soon.
OK, bye.
Bye.
Brian Cranston says hi.
OK, what about the skeletons?
Are they also taking damage?
You're damaged.
That's not how that works.
Fuck off.
Have you ever fought skeletons creeping up from the ground?
Only like four other times.
Oh, well, shit.
Right?
I mean.
One of them was you, too.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry about that.
All right.
I didn't do that.
This Vorunax didn't do that to you.
Not yet.
Wink.
Man, what if I just slit Flint's throat?
What?
Oops.
15.
OK.
15 damage to the group.
OK.
To just about everyone.
OK.
My apologies.
Oh.
Oh, I could have teleported us all out on my turn.
Could have said something, Grancis.
You didn't say what you were going to do.
You just said fuck you.
Why are you a ghost again?
Get it together, old man.
You can talk and let us know if you've got cool plans.
Sorry I was reading my book.
Me, too.
What are you doing next?
Oh, right.
Thank you.
Two actions.
I do.
Thanks.
Yeah.
See?
This happens.
I am back 10 feet.
I draw out my oath bow.
I say, swift death to you who have wronged me.
And I knock it with an arrow.
And I shoot it at him.
Is there still enough of a target where I broke his belt to be shooting at?
To be shooting at?
Is that stuff still hanging around?
Okay, then I want to shoot at, like, I've been noticing Flort.
Okay.
Attacking this specific thing.
I see there's damage.
I shoot my oath bow at that part of him.
For a 23.
Guys.
23 will hit.
Are you trying to hit the same one that Flort was trying to hit?
Yeah, the pink one.
Okay.
Oh, that's max damage.
11.
Which I know isn't a lot.
Still max damage.
Yay!
The arrow flies through and strikes through the skull.
And the pink aura that was floating around it
bursts out of it
and begins moving around the space.
Flort, you see as he was walking past you where you were cutting in
that the flesh on his leg was stitching itself back up
almost at the same time as you were cutting into him.
That slows from your vantage point.
It's still occurring, but he doesn't reach down or really acknowledge it,
but you see the wound remaining open longer than it was previously
trying to heal itself.
Okay.
There's this pink energy that's floating around the room.
It's up probably 20, 25 feet in this echoing chamber.
You still have movement.
Oh yeah, I'm going to run back.
I want to run away.
You want to run away.
No, I want to disengage.
Okay, how far are you going back?
You're not in melee, so you don't need to disengage.
Okay.
So he's not going to get an opportunity attack on me if I'm like...
No.
Okay, I want to back myself up like a good amount.
I want to go back like 30 feet.
Okay.
I don't want to be hit by Orcus.
That's all.
Okay, I'll give you 20 feet because then as you turn and look,
you can see into the darkness and inside there are these demonic creatures
that are like roiling up and out of the ground and they have these
gnashing teeth that they are now reaching towards you,
reaching out of the shadows around you as you move closer to them.
I would like to stay out of the shadows.
Okay.
You position yourself.
Like, no, no.
And I find a healthy distance between shadow monsters and Orcus's wing.
Okay.
Orcus is going to swing his tail at the people.
It's still...
Or...
Fuck this guy.
Yeah.
So, Grancis and Lipsynche, around you, the skeletons have shattered.
They are trying to reform themselves.
You are blasted to the side.
You're just on the edge of this space that Orcus has created.
They're reaching for you and grabbing at you, but just missing.
So you're prone, the two of you, but you are outside of the reach of this space.
It's Shangalar's turn.
Oh, yeah.
This fucking guy.
I forgot he was here.
There's not someone yelling daddy in the background.
Daddy!
You're doing a great job.
Watch me, daddy.
It's my turn now.
Are you watching?
Look what I can do.
Are you watching?
He steps out from behind the throne, and you see him, Vorunax, you catch him
out of the corner of your eye.
And you make an arcana check to see if you can tell what kind of spell he's
casting, because you have intimate knowledge.
Yeah, that's 22.
You sense that he is beginning to cast Cloud Kill on your location.
I'll get you to make you and it's Night Hunter.
So a 20-foot radius sphere of poisonous yellow-green fog centered on a point you choose.
You need to make a constitution saving throw, beating a...
Unless...
I react cast...
Counterspell.
You could do that.
And I'm counterspelling at a fifth level.
Okay, good.
It is at a fifth level, so you do so.
Perfect.
He looks like he's relishing in the moment.
As you see this cloud, and Night Hunter, you begin to smell this noxious fume around you.
That's not good.
In Varnock's cast Counterspell, what does that look like?
I simply hold up, like I have a shield, like a magical shield, and I hold that up
and it kind of charges at the start, or at the...
On the little pearl that's on the outside of it, and it just shoots forth like
a net, wrapping around the weave of magic that Shangri-La has, and then just
stifles it.
I love this net gun.
Where does he get these toys?
That is cool.
I hate you!
You made baby brother mad.
He's always mad.
He disappears quickly into the shadows.
It is Lipsinkie's turn.
You are prone currently.
Orcus is butt ten feet away from you.
Dope.
His butt is ten feet away from me.
Yep.
Shangri-La has just disappeared into the shadows.
Thea appears to be avoiding the periphery of this chamber.
Well, that ten feet away Orcus has really kind of changed up what I was going to do, so...
I mean, that's ten feet of freedom is what that is.
I mean, but when he's so big, ten feet is real close, too.
Is Shangri-La native to this plane of existence?
Yes.
Yes?
Native to the plane that we're on currently?
I guess it depends how you define undead.
These are the philosophical questions of math.
So, yeah, I mean, he is a lich, which makes him an undead, no longer a human.
He was a human.
He would be native to the material plane.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
Yes, yes.
Okay, well, in that case, I'm going to do what I was going to do, which is cast
Banishment on Shangri-La.
Hoping you'll go with me that, like, I've spent a lot of time down here, so maybe I can kind of spot him,
especially since he just disappeared.
He was right before me.
So he needs to make a charisma saving throw.
Oh, he's so fucking charismatic.
Really, he does not come across all that way.
He doesn't come across that way.
So I was hoping that his unsettling daddy behavior would, like, not be great.
He got a 16.
So since he is native to a different plane of existence,
he is banished with a faint popping noise and returns to his home plane.
You just hear from the shadows.
They'll never find me.
And he's gone.
Dope.
That's all I can do.
Fuck yeah.
That's all.
So he's banished back to the material plane.
Just banished him.
Don't worry about it.
That's all I had, guys.
Yeah.
See ya.
Well, I'm also about to die because I'm right in front, but that's fine.
I'm right up there too.
He's so annoying.
I just like to get rid of that guy.
It doesn't say a specific location.
It just says the plane of existence.
It just returns to its home plane.
TBD.
What happens next?
Let's see what happens.
Okay.
Love it.
Anything else you would like to do?
If you're prone, can you, like, start digging?
Bust out that shovel.
I don't know if I want to.
It's so gross, you guys.
It would be so wet and gross and, like, ugh.
Yeah.
It's a bad tunnel to be in.
Yeah.
I think that's all I can do that makes sense.
I don't need to extra provoke Orcus.
Okay.
Grants, it's his turn.
Poof.
Shangalar.
Hey, where...
Oh, he's gone.
Okay.
I guess I'll...
I guess I'll use the...
Should we go big?
Hey, Lipsinki.
Should we go big?
Yeah.
I'd say now's the time to shine, so...
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Swear to God if you say catnap.
Are you feeling tired?
So, he falls asleep.
I don't think I want to cast that at ninth level.
We'll save that spot for a...
Catnap at ninth level.
Everybody's asleep.
We need to cool out.
That's right.
One action.
Okay, he stands himself back up, taking up 15 feet of his movement.
He reaches into his satchel.
Just a little bit of bat poop.
And a little bit of...
That's sulfur, which smells very similar to the bat poop.
Alright.
Rubs his hands together.
And his eyes begin to glow.
And this huge fireball begins to form in his hands
that he releases towards Orcus.
It is a 20-foot radius sphere.
Big ball.
Orcus must make a dexterity saving throw and rolls a one.
Dexterity.
I can see it, you guys.
Yeah, it's a one.
I gotta stop rolling those.
At eighth level is 13d6 fire damage.
Nice.
Damn.
Oh, there's a whole lot of ones in there.
Oh, that's a very grants us roll, but Google says.
So it hits into Orcus and you smell his flesh sizzling.
The flame begins to roil around him and you see it moving
and getting sucked up into this red skull.
And he...
I mean, I say he laughs.
A lot.
Because he does.
You foolish old man.
Oh, shit.
Well, I guess we got to take those out quicker, don't we?
And he moves further away from the skeletal arms
so as they can't grab him
and begins paring something else out of his bag.
Positioning himself and trying to move away from Orcus
but closer over towards Varnaux.
Back to the top of the round.
Night Hunter.
I don't think she's likely in a state
that she would have really noticed the whole belt skull business.
She's a hack and slash kind of person.
So with Corpse Grinder, she's going to run up
and start hacking at his leg.
She's going to rage first.
OK.
They let out a scream as the veins in her neck
pop blue against her pale skin
and they run wild look
and starts to hack at a wound.
She sees a wound on his leg and she hacks at it.
A 31.
Yes.
Nice.
12 damage.
And they're going to pull the axe out all ick or gooey
and do it again.
For a 30.
Yes.
Damage on that one is 14.
And then with my rage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And I get to add an extra 8 damage
because I get plus 4 melee damage with my strength weapons.
And as they had finished slashing into his leg,
she runs through his leg and so that she is now behind him.
OK.
So you haven't passed outside of melee range.
You've just positioned yourself behind.
OK.
Not under his tail or right by his anus or anything.
I'd say probably like ran through the legs about like maybe 20 feet.
OK.
As you run behind him like this groaning echo comes out
from the ground, you feel it rumble
and two skeletons pop up where Nighthunter's standing.
Two zombies pop up where Lipsinki's standing
and two ghouls shoot up into the air,
one moving towards Grancis.
The skeletons are going to try to attack you with their arms.
That's what I imagine.
They come up and they're reaching for you.
That's going to be a 14 and 23 to hit you.
I've got a 23.
Yeah.
So you're going to take five bludgeoning damage
as one of these begins hitting into you.
I've got resistance to bludgeoning.
Two zombies by Vorunax.
You are going to take two slam attacks from them.
That's a natural 20 from one of them.
Shit.
And only a 10 from the other.
10 will definitely miss.
I don't know how they handle natural 20s with mirror image.
Well, it definitely hits one of your mirror image.
Yeah, for sure.
That's true.
So now I need to get an eight or higher.
I got a nine.
OK.
So it barrels into one of them.
The other one is just kind of slamming around.
And the ghoul on board.
It is going to claw at you.
That's another natural 20.
You got to succeed on a DC 10 Constitution saving throw.
All right.
Well, Khan's one of my good ones.
So here we go.
He's like, I already got a plus 14.
I think I'm going to nail this.
That's a 17.
OK.
So you are not paralyzed for one minute,
but you are going to take 14 slashing damage.
OK.
And Grancis, the one that tries to hit him,
only rolls a seven, which still misses Grancis.
But just barely.
Just barely.
Right before Vorunax's turn, Night Hunter and Bort.
So he casts another one of those creeping death.
The necrotic energy catches the both of you in it.
Vulnerability to necrotic damage
until the end of his next turn.
Vorunax.
I'm going to start off by casting Eldritch Blast,
and I'm going to target.
Oh, let's go with the green skull.
You hear the crack, cross between bone and glass crack,
and the aura begins to leak out, even just the slightest.
Which, at that one, Orcus lets out this cry of frustration.
Grrrr!
And he turns his body and looks towards you.
This is perfect.
That's going to be a 25.
And he hits my last mirror image.
With my bonus action, I'm going to cast Compelled Duel.
So I need a wisdom saving throw, DC 18.
24.
OK.
Not compelled at all to duel me.
That's good, I guess.
It's actually good.
I made a terrible choice.
I didn't want to duel you at all.
See, and I heard ghoul.
I thought you were trying to, like,
take control of one of the ghouls that was there.
I got confused.
If I had that wand of Orcus, I could summon some.
But I don't.
I don't think it'd work the way you'd want it to work.
I don't think so either.
All right.
Anything else on your turn?
I'll move to where I'm in melee range
and also in a position where I'm not close to either
either Night Hunter or what do we say, Flort?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So spacing it out.
Just proper, you know.
Sure.
OK, so we've got, like, Night Hunter's closest.
Flort is kind of near the throne,
and you are positioning yourself.
I guess you're moving, if that's the case,
you're kind of moving towards Lipsinki.
That actually makes a lot of sense.
I'd move towards Lipsinki and, like,
get defensive in a way.
Sure.
Love it.
OK.
Bort.
I look over at Night Hunter
and I say, you got to go for his belt.
You can reach it.
You got to go for it.
I'll keep these guys busy.
Like, I should take it off, wear it?
I think it's just too big.
Break it.
Just break the belt.
I do like break.
And I go for, like, whatever is closest to Night Hunter
to free her up.
Night Hunter has two skeletons on them.
Well, I'm on them now.
All right.
First one is a 20, but dirty.
Second one is a 19.
That'll hit it.
OK.
That is 17 damage on the first guy.
Skeleton explodes.
And I'll throw my third attack on the other skeleton.
And that's another 19.
That will hit.
And that's 16 slicing damage.
And that is both skeletons disperse into the air
they are taking care of.
Elemental.
Is the elemental still around?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Stoney, move forward, attack.
So Stoney Jabroni is going to move forward
and do two slam attacks against Ol Orcus.
A 13 and an 18.
The 18 will hit.
And that is 13 bludgeoning damage.
So Elemental is up close and personal with Orcus presently
as it is Orcus's turn.
There Orcus is going to shoot.
No, he's going to swing his tail towards Vorunax,
who's now in range.
That's going to be a 34 to hit you.
So you are going to take 21 force damage, 9 poison damage
and make a strength saving throw.
OK.
That's a 17.
You get hit by this tail and you slide back closer
towards the flame behind you.
But you move forward, so it's not really that bad.
And then two necrotic bolts go out,
one towards Bort, one towards Night Hunter.
First one towards Bort.
It's going to be a 33.
Just a smidge got me by just a smidge.
So 29 necrotic damage flies out at you,
but that's doubled because you're vulnerable at present time.
So that's going to be 58 necrotic damage.
Shit.
Night Hunter.
No.
That is only an 18 to hit you.
Oh, it does hit me.
All right.
You do not take 58 necrotic damage.
I didn't want to.
Wow.
I didn't want to.
I get it.
He is going to...
Helicopter.
Yeah, baby.
Terrifying and inappropriate in the middle of a battle.
Very much so.
What a display of dominance.
He's going to...
You see him take one of these...
Take one of these skulls off.
It's going to be the...
He's going to take the one that is leaking credit,
the green one.
And he pops it in his mouth
and bites down on it.
And you see his eyes light up
and this aura wash over him.
Thanos energy pulls,
just screams up,
which raises the volume in this room
to immense proportions.
Everybody make a constitution saving throw
as every creature that you can't see,
but now know is there,
screams from what you can only describe
as the stadium around you.
25.
26.
21.
18.
Nighthunter.
Oh, shit.
Fucking Jesus.
Six for Arthia.
If you rolled lower than a 22,
you are now deafened.
Shit.
Huh?
I don't know.
I can hear Nighthunter's babbling.
Anybody close enough to him,
which would be those in melee range,
so the four of you,
you see as this energy washes through and over him,
the wounds on his legs stitch themselves
completely back up,
like in the instant that he bit into this thing.
Cool.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
You got to do what you got to do, Russ.
Fia, it's your turn.
First, she's going to take out her serpentine jade owl.
Take Guacamole, I need you.
And her giant owl appears to come join the fight.
So as I let loose Guacamole and she appears,
I'm running at the same time and I jump onto her back
and she swoops by Orcus and she has fly by,
which means she does not provoke an opportunity attack
when it flies by within an enemy's reach.
Fuck you, Russ.
It was coming.
I know it was.
I saw you with your dice.
I got this.
And as Guacamole swoops close,
she's doing like snowbird type things, right?
Fia drags her hand across Orcus's yuck body.
And I'm not trying to body shame Orcus.
You do you, but like all sorts at you.
And casts Contagion.
OK.
What does Contagion do?
It says, my touch inflicts disease.
I'm going to make a melee spell attack against my creature.
And on a hit, the target is poisoned.
I'm going to take a lucky point, a luck point,
and I'm going to try that again.
So it's two.
OK.
Twenty five.
Twenty five hit.
OK.
So at the end of each of the poison targets turn,
they must make a constitution saving throw.
If you succeed.
What if he's not poisoned?
So he just succeeds, and he's no longer poisoned?
He has a condition immunity where he cannot be poisoned.
Well, now I know that, then.
Yeah.
Sorry, guys.
I was trying to blind them.
No, I loved it.
Yeah.
OK.
Fine.
Fia's unhappy.
OK.
She looked super cool, though.
For sure.
So sick.
The owl, and the running, and the incredible.
OK.
So Fia's still on Guacamole's back,
and she is going to do another flyby
and try to smash with her scimitar one of the skulls.
And now there's not a damaged one, right?
Pink one is gone.
Green one is gone.
Here, green was eaten pink.
Aura is in the air.
OK.
I don't know what that means.
I'll figure it out.
Go get it.
Give me 12 hours in a journal, you guys.
You come read my book with me.
We'll figure it out.
We're going to figure this thing out together, Granza.
OK.
So I'm going to try to smash it with my scimitar.
For a 27.
OK.
Hits.
Cool.
Oh, fuck off.
Four damage.
And sorry, which color did you say?
Blue, red, yellow, brown, black.
Blue.
OK.
OK, that's the end of Fia's turn.
But Guacamole has a turn, and instead of attacking,
Guacamole flies, with the encouragement of Fia,
up to the pink mist.
Well, fly into the pink misty stuff and just be like,
what's this?
And also well out of the reach of Orcus.
OK, you fly up into it.
Yeah.
And that's where your turn is going to end.
Cool.
We will find out what happens to you on your next turn.
It's going to be great, you guys.
I'm probably not going to die.
I believe.
I think you're going to get super healthy.
I think it's going to be great.
We get some sort of magic power.
It's Shangalar's turn.
Above.
What?
We cut away to a small village.
And he previously stated was tiptoeing through the shadows.
We cut to the middle of a town square where he is now standing
in like a frozen position.
He's like, son of a bitch.
And he casts.
Take back seas.
There was no take back seas.
He is going to cast Plane Shift.
Yeah.
And in this, because he's not going to do it in a nice way,
he's going to in like this fiery eruption of energy from the
center of this town square.
He vanishes and there's this huge explosion.
We cut back to the abyss and immediately looks at you,
Lipsinki.
That was not nice.
I was busy hiding.
Nobody could see me except you.
I'm coming for you.
And I missed the helicopter.
And I missed daddy's helicopter.
It's a girl's face.
Coming for you.
Lipsinki.
It's your turn.
Shangalar staring you down like he's fifth.
I guess he might not have.
He's probably got control over where he is inside of the abyss.
He goes back to the throne.
He's like standing right up beside the throne,
pointing down at you.
Yeah.
I'm going to I'm going to deal with you again in just a minute.
Yeah.
One fool me once.
Shame on me twice.
Not going to happen.
Bitch.
Freddy Krueger.
That'd be more like bitch.
I guess what I'll do is boring,
but it needs to be done.
I'm just going to Eldritch Blast at the skulls.
I guess I'll just pick one for all four,
and it's going to be blue.
That's what I hit.
Yeah.
Do it.
Yes.
Into the blue and it shatters,
but not enough to break it.
And the aura is swirling around it.
Where am I physically?
I feel like last time I did not move away from Orcus.
I was just chilling there by the bones.
Yeah.
Pretty sure you're still by Orcus.
Vorunax is standing in front of you.
Yeah, I don't know.
Where am I going to go?
We're surrounded by a stadium full of shrieking demons,
and it's fine.
Here I am.
We can't even yell things at each other anymore,
because I'm deaf.
I can't even.
Yeah.
Night Hunter is the only one who can hear stuff.
And she's fucking crazy.
I mean, nobody.
Yep.
That's fair.
OK.
Grants us, baby.
There's several people around Orcus right now.
He's going to try and hit Lipsynche with his tail attack.
It's going to be a 26 to hit.
That'll certainly do it.
OK.
21 force damage, 9 poison, and a strength saving throw, please.
Yikes.
Oh my god.
How many is that?
21 plus 9, 30.
And a strength saving throw.
20, dirty.
OK, you're knocked back five feet, but not prone.
Wait.
You got a 24 because you're within 10 feet of me.
Oh, yeah.
I got a 24 because my best bud, Vorunax, is there.
Yeah.
You take that tail hit, and don't move a muscle.
From his bag, Grants us again looks like he's now
trying to read from the book and is like holding this diamond
in his hand.
And Shangalar kind of catches it out of his eye.
He's like, he can't even remember his spells.
And he hurls this chromatic orb towards Orcus, who is going
to make ranged spell attack.
That's a 29 to hit.
And it's going to be 10d8 thunder damage.
Yikes.
This chromatic orb flies up and strikes into Orcus's chest.
And there's this rumbling thunder that echoes out.
And you hear and feel the footsteps from beyond the shadows,
almost like they're turning around you now.
Orcus is going to take 42 thunder damage.
Oh, not immune to thunder, I see.
The shadows around you, you see Shangalar up by the throne,
and he kind of waves his hand.
And the shadows around you go away.
And it lets loose the whole cathedral around you.
And there are these winged creatures high up in the rafters
and these demonic monsters, like ogres sized down
to humanoid or skeletal figures.
And they all begin rushing down towards you.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 147, starring Amy More
as Thea and Nighthunter, Carla Maxted as Lipsinki, Tom Laird
as Flint, with Kyle Claset as Vorunax, Peter Joseph Lewis
as Orcus, and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted, and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Artlist,
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss, Perry Matey, Cosmic Octopus,
Kayla Littlejohn, Angheron Kiersen, L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter,
Old School Gamer D, Destiny Garcia, and Louie Hayes.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
Now's as good a time to join as any because we have hundreds of hours of bonus content,
and we do live shows every quarter, the next one coming up this June.
Be there, or as Amy says, be square.
That's it for now. Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.
Out of her bag, she pulls out her Tom of Thunder step and she opens it up and she says,
Sorry, you guys. Oh, no, wait. No, she doesn't. Hold on. Wait.
Hold on. Hold the fuck on everybody.
I don't give up yet.
Everybody crack the cyanide tooth.
No, I just don't want to the office. So if you put this in your mouth,
I don't want my buddies to take like 3D 10 Thunder damage who are around.
Just just because they're sitting there.
I might kill lip sync. Thunder.
Any quest that I could go on to serve you and eliminate that possibility.
I figure if we find out if there's an answer, if there's an answer to that,
then we can go destroy that.
I like that. I like that.
Erasing shit or something. I don't know.
No, it was just great. Great thinking.
Maybe like BRB and then like teleport is all.
I got it.
Yeah. Can we just send ourselves on a side quest and like totally kind of bypass?
I could make them work for us, work with us.
They seemed like they wanted to at one point.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.